Top Five

eharmony.com is now my second most frequented website. My browser makes it convenient for me to instantly jump on to my five top sites as they appear in the drop down when I type the first w in the addy bar. Right now, they are - in this order - facebook, eharmony, linkedin (because I'm networking like crazy for my startup), netflix (because I started LOST!!), and thesaurus (because I write a lot these days).

I wish I had a top 5 list to speak of on eharmony, but there are four that are worth mentioning for various reasons.

1. International Affairs in the Federal Govt. Interesting. Of course well traveled and informed, loves learning about different cultures. Loved everything about his profile.
BUT,
he said, "The single most important quality I'm looking for is sweetness." I don't think the kind of guy I will have chemistry with is looking for sweetness...

2. Venture Capital Investor (ding ding ding, or suppose it's kaching ching ching - for my biz). He was a literature major and I liked his book list, which was a very eclectic range of interesting subjects. He can't live without yoga - not sure how I feel about that one yet...
BUT,
he's 5'9"

3. Cop dude. Not really my profession type but his profile literally made me laugh out loud. It was sarcastic, self-deprecating, silly, philosophical - all in one.
BUT,
he's 5'9" and he's a bit young - 31. I already teased about us being the same height and he just came back with some ridiculous silly, self-deprecating shit. Was hilarious.

4. MY DREAM CHINESE MAN!!!! Tall, good looking, in biz dev, lived in Paris for 6 years!!!
BUT,
he CLOSED COMMUNICATION on me!! How dare he!!! His reason was "our physical distance is too far." He's in Pasadena (Los Angeles area). What a narrow, unprogressive thinker. Hmmph. Distance is no obstacle for true love. Idiot. He probably only dates blondes. I did send him a final message, which you can do when someone closes comm with you. They give you a few stock responses and I chose, "I thought there was real chemistry there, I think you should reconsider." I wish there was a, "I am willing to relocate" option! Well, no response so bye bye dream Chinese man. Oh, and he plays the sax. I hate him.

Interesting how I've written the most about the one with the least, or no chance of consummation. Hmmmm.... I'm such a textbook case!

Oh, and I should try to reconnect with that PhD dude. I kind of left him hanging 6 weeks ago.

So I've gotten requests from my readers to share my profile. So here it is. Very simple. Hope you can read fine print.




And to share some more stories from one of my eHarm crimies (one of two I convinced to join - patience ladies...)

- one fellow looked like a douche, was 5'7" and put down that his job was "business owner / badass"

- another one said that reading "isn't my thing"

What? Dude, JUST LIE, YOU SOUND LIKE A TROGLODYTE

Online dating is filled with these great nuggets times hundreds of thousands so those 4 I mentioned above are diamonds in the rough.

It does take a lot of time, which is something I'm having less and less of as my start up is taking up more and more energy and mind share, which is what I was afraid of... Maybe I can find a developer and boyfriend in one! JACKPOT!!!!

The Evolution of One

In a span of 6 weeks, he went from No. 1 to Only.1 to Not the. 1

I didn't feel the spark and he knew it. So he didn't bring his A game. He brought C at best, C for comme ci comme ca. French for like this, like that: so so. But he tried, tried hard to tolerate the comme ci comme ca ness of our feelings towards each other - even powered through a baby shower (co-ed) into week 4. What a great guy.

Maybe we jumped in too deep too fast and the romance of mystery and anticipation was botched before we gave it a proper chance. Or, before I gave it a proper chance. Me, being the PMSing nip-it-in-the-budder, broached the topic of how he felt for me last week. I was feeling for weeks that he was a bit lackluster in his expression towards my arrivals at his doorstep, my presence in his bed and our various evening outings. I did try, yes three times, to open up to him but what felt to me like an anvil dropping, for the average person, it probably felt like the weight of a spec of dust. He probably didn't notice.

So I checked in with him. It turned out that he was feeling exactly how I was feeling! I was lackluster towards him. Naturally. And naturally, we both want more, just a little more.

Well, aren't we a couple of spoiled brats? "There's no spark!" "There's no romance!" Palease. Where's the romance two screaming kids deep, with a mortgage, extra marital temptations (not to mention affairs), 40 lbs later (not me), saggy flatter ass (yes, me), on and on and on...

Our generation is paralyzed, stunted and damaged by too many choices.


Ok, so if I'm going to be honest, it's mostly my fault. Week two, I told him, "I would protect myself against myself," so the warning went. I couldn't help it. Ironically, I was a lot freaked out by his expression of excitement towards me. And, he really took it to heart because after that, there was a marked shift of expression from excited to a bit lackluster.

Maybe that showed that he didn't really feel it for me either and if I hadn't sent him the Paul Revere, it would have dragged out the inevitable - that we're just better as friends. When it's not there, it's not there. That's it.

It is a bit disappointing because we are sincerely very fond of each other, a lot.

Maybe it's timing... maybe if we had met 10 years ago and were friends for ever...

Maybe maybe maybe. The paradox of choice. My grandmothers had no choice. The communists were coming.

So is the end of my eHarmony VIP pass. Waste no time. Back online tonight to catch up on 6 weeks of match communication requests.

What's in a Name

That which we call close communication

The Power of the Couple

I was recently introduced to the idea that being coupled opens doors to a powerful social sphere from which singles are barred. Is this TRUE?? I always thought I was invited to all the cool and power events beCAUSE I was single!

If there really is this inner circle of uber cool power couple events, I'm determined to find it and enter it.

I'm just not cut out for multi-dating, online dating is a bit wasted on me I suppose, kind of like buffets are. So now that No. 1 is the Only. 1, I can do some real infiltration into this alleged world of power coupledom. I just have to get Only. 1 to be more socially adventurous, which is an adventure in itself!

God, I already feel so much pressure to be a witty, chic Bradjolina or something. Nevermind.

Meanwhile, I wanted to share a couple stories from my friends working the online dating circuit:
Spotted: wedding photo with ex wife cut out
Slapped: ass on first date
Extricated: stage 5 clinger - final straw: showing up at her work unwanted and unannounced

Also, I had Only.1 show me his eHarm matches. Let me just say, the guys have it MUCH better than the girls. WTF?!?!